his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
