I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
