So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
