Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
