So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize