I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
