coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize