is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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