end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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