Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
