dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
