SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize