Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Randomize