I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
