we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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