I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
the gays at disneyland are vicious
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
