I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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