Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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