just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
