I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize