uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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