wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
