I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
