what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I just forgot I was standing up.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
