he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize