I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
