I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
