already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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