i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
