Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Drake has all the answers
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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