YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
