My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
