Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
