Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
