fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Found your dick twin last night
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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