i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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