I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize