just come out here and I will go home with you...
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
