Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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