Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
is that a dick in a sweater?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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