we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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