Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
