Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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