No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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