I like to think it a success when the cops are called
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
