no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
