:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
