Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
