I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
