1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
