Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
