If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
He? As in you personified your dick?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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