Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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