Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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