Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
