i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
