What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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